How Parents Can Support Their Child Through COVID-19 Losses

We spoke with expert psychologist, best-selling author, monthly New York Times columnist and mother of two Dr. Lisa Damour about how you can help your children navigate the losses – both big and small – during this difficult time.

What are the differences between loss and grief?
Dr. Damour. “We might use the term loss to talk about the loss of things that may return – such as the rhythms and routines of life before the pandemic.”

Grief, on the other hand, is for something more permanent, “such as the death of a loved one. And there, the psychological work is different because in addition to having to accept that that person is gone, there is also the heavy work of accepting that they’re not going to come back.”

How do children feel loss and grief differently from adults?
According to Dr. Damour, a lot will depend on the age of your child. “Very young children may be confused about what happened – both with loss and grief.

“For teenagers, the process is pretty intense, because emotions can be very powerful for adolescents.

How can I help my child navigate these emotions?
Be empathetic and be honest with children of all ages, but make sure to be especially clear with young children. “Children under the age of 5, need and deserve very clear, very simple explanations that do not include euphemisms. We can’t tell children that we ‘lost’ someone, because they won’t really understand what we’re trying to say. It’s more useful for adults to warmly and tenderly say: ‘I have some very sad news to share. Your grandparent has died. That means his body stopped working, and we won’t get to see him again.’ It can be hard for parents to stomach such a direct communication, but it’s important to be honest and transparent.

source: UNICEF

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